Y'all know I don't have my own kids but I have had access to them for most of my life. Before I even get into the meat of this, I'll be honest and say I was potty trained by the time I was one. Shocking? Yeah. My brother was done by the time he was 15 months. All of the children raised by mother mother's generation were potty trained by two. Now, let's skip up to my generation. Two and three year old kids are messing themselves left and right. Then we have THIS.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sensitive to the needs of the parents but the rule is in place. The child needs to be potty trained. This mom is doing what a lot of parents do because she doesn't believe the rules apply to their special little angel. This is the same idea that has every kid getting an award and trophy just for showing up.
I need to hear from some parents any anyone in the early childhood community. When were your kids trained? What about you? Your younger siblings?
Uggh. MNy kid is 24 months and we are starting it seriously now.
I tend to parent by the book. The "books" say that most children are physiologicaly ready around this time. So that was my decision. PLus, I have a baby and didn't need the added stress.
I know other cultures do it differently and prehaps it would have been different here if I had stuck with cloth diapers. I just want it done before she turns three.
Posted by: sherri | 01/31/2011 at 07:25 AM
My brother potty trained me. He was probably three years old. See he doesn't sleep much. & nap time for him was agreed quiet play in the bed with one toy for an hour. Me I think I was living to sleep (that's why I'm relatively tall now). & sometimes we were in the same bed so my bro would say, "Boy you better go to that pot! I don't want yo wet butt next to me and my G.I. Joe."
I wonder if the "too small bladder" excuse that they talk about w/ bed wetters? You know they say that sometimes the rest of the kid's body grows and the bladder is last to catch up.
Posted by: WuDaMan | 01/31/2011 at 09:17 AM
I think this is convenient outrage on the mom's part, simply because her child couldn't comply. Old girl knew when she sent her kid to this school that she was "mostly" trained. She was just hoping for the best. That said, their policy could use some nuance. I've seen kids that will just ignore the urge because they want to keep playing and then others that get caught up by a new snap on their pants. IMO, one needs more potty training and the other is an accident.
I was fully trained by two. No kids but my younger siblings were all in the year before they turned two. I also think having a mother that was home all the time helped. Do daycares potty train kids? I guess that's a benefit of a nanny.
Posted by: Akima | 01/31/2011 at 09:27 AM
I'd have to ask my mother, but I think my sister and I were potty trained by time we were 2-2 1/2. We had GMa help though, that firmly believed in 'Combat Potty Training' where she would spend a weekend with us, putting us on the potty every 45 min until we got the hang of it. I pretty much trained the Prince the same way and kept a bowl of cherrios in the bathroom as his incentive/game to make SURE he hit the bowl and not just spray the entire bathroom. (ie. throw some cherrios in the bowl and the game is to aim & hit - IN THE WATER)
As for Princess Cara, we didn't get her till she was 18months and she ended up having a language delay as a result of hearing problems so potty training was not a focus nor priority. She was daytime potty trained before she was 3 1/2 - 4 and we finally were able to get rid of the pull up at night at 5 or so. I knew the deal with Cara, so we searched until we found a school that took kids still in pull up or partially potty trained. Worked just fine. Other kids not in pullups at school was also an incentive for her to finally not want to wear them.
Each kid is different. You have to adjust...and you need to follow the rules of the school.
Posted by: TravelDiva | 01/31/2011 at 09:48 AM
I think I was potty trained by 1 or 18 months at the latest. I started walking at 9 months so it was easy to get the potty training done.
I never realized how big a deal potty training was until recently... It's probably because back home kids stay home until they go to preschool and kindergarten... so potting incidents are no big deal and by 2 or 3 the child is more than ready and can handle the potty all by themselves. Before that age, it could be difficult for the kid to learn... especially if the kid is not at home to be trained properly...
(reason #235 why I would rather have a nanny than send my kids to daycare... I just prefer the 1-on-1 rapport)
Posted by: L.P. | 01/31/2011 at 09:57 AM
My aunt painted a dot with nail polish on the inside of the toilet for her boys (child and husband...lol) to aim for.
Posted by: akima | 01/31/2011 at 10:17 AM
My mom owns a daycare and accepts kids that aren't potty trained but she's a small outfit and the kids are there from 18 months to 3 years old. My mom will help to some point with the training mostly by putting the kids on the toilet at regular intervals for those who are in the process. My grandmother potty trained me and that's because she was shocked when I showed up to spend the summer with her at almost 2 and I wasn't.
You gotta follow the rules. I guess the mother should have found a school that allowed for more frequent accidents.
Posted by: Honest | 01/31/2011 at 10:35 AM
The parent is aware of the rule so she should have followed it. Unless there is a serious health issue, the child should be accustomed to going to the bathroom when she has to go without much hand holding. I assisted with getting my neices and nephews potty trained. You take them to the potty on a regular basis and they get the idea. You began to train them when they can walk around pretty well. Usually by 3 yrs. old, they should probably have a mistake once in a while - but not 3 times a week, unless of course the child is very shy or has a health issue. I think my mom had every kid in her care trained by the age of 1.5 yrs - 2.5 yrs. Some kids take longer than others but by three, if the trainer is consistent, the kid should have the idea.
Posted by: Nikita | 01/31/2011 at 11:16 AM
I think I was fully potty trained by one and a half. I have no idea about these things or how they get done. But my friends always say that I'm so hell bent on my future bambinos being self-sufficient that my 3 week old will be asking for wet wipes and will know how to change his/her own diaper by 4 weeks. They said I'll be standing over them lying in their feces asking "Now how do you intend to rectify this situation?" Lol!
Posted by: SoJo | 01/31/2011 at 11:24 AM
Wow. Just spoke to mother about this. She said I was an imitator. If she went, I'd hobbly my ass and tug at my clothes so she started sitting me on the potty at like 11 months. Also, my grandmother lived across the street and she thought it was time. If a child is bringing you their diaper, following you to the bathroom and mimicking, she felt it was time.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 11:34 AM
I think this is another issue--the older siblings. The younger one always wants to do what the older one is doing.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 11:35 AM
Three times in a week is a pattern. This will be the same child whose mother wants the grading system changed because her child got 89% on the test instead of the requires 90% for an 'A'.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 11:36 AM
I have heard several stories of kids being with grandparents or older relatives then coming back potty trained. Old folks don't play.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 11:36 AM
But if the child is at daycare and the other kids are doing it, I think an observant kid would mimic what the other kids are doing.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 11:38 AM
I've heard this done a lot too. My girl was saying one of her boys refuses to touch himself. He puts his hands behind him and aims. His mother with touch himself while he's going but if his brother talks to him or he is distracted, he will turn his whole peeing body to have a conversation. Peeing all over the place!
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 11:39 AM
Again, old folks don't play.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 11:39 AM
Maybe folks are just lazy. Maybe this isn't about the kids abilities at all.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 11:41 AM
My friend's daughter was a little over one when she started knowing she was wet, going to get the wipes and diaper and notifying her parents. She was self-sufficient. But I think parents underestimate their kids' level of maturity.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 11:42 AM
My LS's were having a convo about this over the weekend. All of the toddler girls were potty trained relatively quickly, but the boys didn't mind being soiled. The girls hated being messy. I wonder if gender roles play a factor as well as maturity.
Posted by: SoJo | 01/31/2011 at 11:46 AM
**Disclaimer** I don't have kids either. But the woman who does my eyebrows told me her 3 year old grandson isn't potty trained. And apparently there's a new theory that potty training them too early/before they're ready will traumatize them? And you're supposed to let it happen naturally? Ummm...ok I guess? But I was laying there thinking that showing up to school at the age of 5 in a pull up and being teased might be more traumatizing. But what do I know?
Posted by: Diana | 01/31/2011 at 12:36 PM
So lemme get this right. Old folks will potty train earlier than this younger generation. So I'm supposed to believe that for several generations, potty training by 2 left everyone traumatized? Naw, I'm not buying what thread lady is selling.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 12:39 PM
HAHA! I know I was all kinds of confrused! Like, we all made it out ok! Although another disclaimer - thread lady is Korean. And her daughter is a psychologist and assimilated and Americanized. So thread lady was #kanyeshruggin the whole thing, but at the same time was trying to abide by her daughter's rules. But this just got me thinking about this new fangled "parenting."
Posted by: Diana | 01/31/2011 at 12:50 PM
Please. My girl has three kids. The first kid, they got rid of their TV's cus the doctor told them the child shouldn't be exposed to TV until like 2. She was also told the child couldn't go outside until she was some odd number like 17 days old. She made the mistake of saying this in front of older women. They tactfully told her she and her doctor were crazy. She's since had two other kids. She hasn't followed any of the rules she tried to follow with the first one. I feel like she has the hang of it, knows what works for her family.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 01:02 PM
A lot of poor people potty train their kids early to escape the expense of diapers. Its possible to do it.
I think old people were home with their kids and younger people use more day care. How do you potty train a child from 5pm (after work) to 9 (bed time)?
The school we are applying to asked the potty training question. I was honest. She is trained for bowel movements but sometimes she wets. She has to be reminded to go. I hope it does not keep us out since school does not start until late August and we are partially there.
Maybe this woman should be jailed and charged with a felony for lying her way into the program.
I have a friend who did extreme potty training. Its a 72 hour process.
Posted by: Ames | 01/31/2011 at 01:15 PM
My older aunts say a new mom and baby should stay inside 6 weeks. They come to your house and do everything so you don't have to do anything but nurse.
I complied with that.
I believe that kids watching tv before 2 may lead to adhd and zap those brain cells. I have met t.v. babies. Those kids would rather watch t.v. than play.
Posted by: Ames | 01/31/2011 at 01:19 PM
Wait! Uh so poor (by government definitions) don't get a stipend for diapers? *consults Google*
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 01:19 PM
Whoa. Google says states have policies that actually prevent people from using state funds for disposable diapers. This never even occurred to me. Damn!
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 01:24 PM
If the kids are cared for outside of the home, how much TV could they be getting? Thinking about the 10 or so kids I know, they aren't interested in TV for more than 10 minutes. Me on the other hand, Wonder Pets is my joint!
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 01:26 PM
I don't have children, but per my mother I was potty trained before I was one. My mother said I always wanted to "be grown" and to sit on the potty like her. And once I got into training pants and underwear, I wanted nothing more to do with a diaper, especially at night.
My grandmother ran a daycare out of her home, and I grew up helping her after school, etc. She potty trained many a child - I don't remember any of her kids over the age of two-and-a half not being trained. So I agree, old folks don't play. Yes, some kids have issues with learning to use the potty, but for the most part I think in this day and age, it's lazy parenting. Just like when I see little girls with their hair askew, I think lazy parenting.
Posted by: Miss Ali D | 01/31/2011 at 01:29 PM
I did it following behind my mom too!
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 01:30 PM
Poor people do not play. All that pull up diapering and toileting trauma is a luxury of middle class.
Posted by: Ames | 01/31/2011 at 01:32 PM
You know I'm classifying this under the foolishness category right? Yeah...the application clearly states that kids must be potty trained and this mother says she was not made aware of the policy until late November. smh lying....but anyway. I raised my nephew from the time he was born until he was 5. He was fully potty trained by 2 because it was more convenient for me and the first (and last) time he had an accident at school I'm not ashamed to say that I whooped his butt when I brought a change of clothes. Think of me what you may....
Posted by: Diva (in Demand) | 01/31/2011 at 01:34 PM
She's telling the stone cold truth. I was a college student raising my nephew and I didn't have the money, time, or patience for diapers and pull ups. I needed him to be able to move when I moved.
Posted by: Diva (in Demand) | 01/31/2011 at 01:36 PM
I agree with all the signs. At least, that's what the books said. ;-)
We had a potty chair around 18 months( thanks grandma) and she would sit. Sometimes use it. But I had to take her every hour to get her to actually use it. The ability to tell me that she has to go potty BEFORE going started recently.
Posted by: sherri | 01/31/2011 at 02:13 PM
WE're all traumatized, Damnit!
Posted by: sherri | 01/31/2011 at 02:15 PM
Preach, Preach!!
Posted by: sherri | 01/31/2011 at 02:17 PM
There ain't nothing lazy about my parenting.
HUMPH!
Posted by: sherri | 01/31/2011 at 02:18 PM
Yeah I was saying I was about one when I was potty trained.
Posted by: WuDaMan | 01/31/2011 at 04:31 PM
The technology of diapers is so advanced that kids never feel the wetness.
Its near impossible to potty train a child if they do not realize they are wet and can't make the cause and effect connection.
Kids used to be potty trained by 1 year because our diapers could not soak up the river Nile. They knew they were wet. Most working parents can't use cloth and diaper services are scarce.
We have hardwoods and leather furniture. I can let my daughter walk around in panties and wet up the place. If we had carpets and cloth fabric furniture I would likely just wait. It wouldn't be lazy, it would be financially I can't afford to clean carpets and furniture until she figured it out.
Posted by: Ames | 01/31/2011 at 04:44 PM
Good point about knowing when they are wet. Seems like the more technology we have, the more we have to actually think. People are using the ones that are rubber on the outside with cloth liners on the inside.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 01/31/2011 at 04:49 PM