Give Me My Profits

Yesterday we talked about NWA and how horrible they were.  And you know what?  Yesterday at work, some Biggie popped up.  It was then I realized that I can't do that kind of music anymore.  I was disgusted by it again.  And Biggie was something I should have been cool with because of the college memories I have to it.  Nope.  Hated it. 

But it all reminded me about something that I only touched upon in the comments:  RESPECT FOR OUR ELDERS.  I'm not saying you have to do as they tell you.  But you should respect them enough to listen to what they say with an open ear.  Why?  Because no matter how much you think you know, they have been on this Earth longer than you.  They have seen more and done more.  They might not have done the EXACT things you've done or will do.  But they have lived longer than YOU.  YES YOU!

I see it here especially when we're talking about relationships.  Younger people give a side eye to people who have been married or are married.  I would hope, however, that once the younger people get 30+, they'll be able to see that no matter how much they have seen at 30, the person who is 40 has seem more days, nights, and lights!

If Travel Diva, OneFromPhilly, or Monnie tell me something, I'm going to listen simply because they have drawn breath for a significantly longer time than I have.  Plus, I know they have my best interest in mind.  I see it as no different that asking environmental questions of my frociate who is an environmental hygenist.  I respect that he knows some shyt.  He might not know everything.  But when I wanted to know the real scoop on what to do to prepare for Y2K, I bent his ear.

This is why I have had a pretty easy life.  I don't need to touch a hot stove.  I'm good with letting someone else burn the shyt out of themselves.  Then I'll listen to their story.  Then make note that when the nob is in a certain position, 99.99% of the people who dared touch it, walked away burned!  And I tell anyone young who is reading this, there's NOTHING new under the sun.  If you respect your elders, you will listen to them.  Not blindly, but with open eyes. 

Whenever I hear a young person go real hard against even listening to their elders I immediately think they have had piss poor adults around them causing them to be distrustful.  I also think those young people probably have a lot of problems because they won't learn from other folks' mistakes.

Whatch'all think?  Do young people respect the experience of elders?  Why?  Why not?  Do you?  Do you take your position as an elder (to someone) seriously?

Note:  I will not listen to peers, specifically SoJo and DivaInDemand because they are horrible influences who don't have my goodness and light in mind.

Comments

[KaNisa]

I guess I'm a young person.

For me I take any advice people give me with a big grain of salt, especially when it's coming from people 25 years or less older than me because I honestly have had different experiences than most. (I've said this all over, but I don't date or go out almost at all, and I am extremely technical oriented.)

My mom and dad's dating advice? Eh...(Mom LOVED the guy that hurt me the most because he was a KISA and was all about traditional values...except when it came to being faithful. Currently in the doghouse with Dad because he found out I may be going to my Dude's Black Alumni weekend that's two hours away...he thinks it's completely inappropriate to go on overnight trips with people you're not engaged to and thus is not talking to me).

I would be more interested in hearing more from the generation older than my parents (70+) as they tend to give more general advice from a similar time of awakening.

[KaNisa]

Oh but I will say I consider the source of pepo giving me advice. Will certainly hit up my dad for work advice. He's a retired person in senior management for a major company. He's got all kinds of applicable knowledge.

And I'll hit up my mom for cooking, cleaning, and financial advice. She's a great cook and was the banker of the family. She will also be on the horn every two seconds when it's time for kids.

[ames]

I think the young respect the experience of those who live a life like the particular young person wants.

I observe people and I listen to what they say in general, more than what they say when they get on a soap box. I think i've been fortunate to be exposed to different types of relationships and relationship failures and got to choose the type I knew I would flourish in.

I'm not an advice giver but I feel I live a life worthy of observation and people do observe, comment and ask questions.

[WuDaMan]

I think this, "If you respect your elders, you will listen to them." Could have been worded differently to not come off so Delilah like. & I could not be such a pns about it.
Yes sometimes no sometimes, it's out of the love in their heart.
Yes I take it seriously to be an seasoned someone to the young bols n girls.

[Diva (in Demand)]

You know I disagree with you slightly right? Age does not always equal wisdom so there are some situations and lessons that you need to go out on your own with instead of listening to elders. Plus our situations and experiences are tailored for us....so our reactions may be different from someone else's. Secondly, although your peers have not been alive longer than you does not mean that they do not have more life experience than you. Just something to consider.

And the truth of the matter is that we don't take advice from our elders and follow it word for word anyway. We listen to what they say and form our own opinion based on it.

[Ms. Smart]

You know what? I'm at the point in my life where I'm beyond adding syrup to sweeten the castor oil. If a constipated person isn't willing to swallow the castor oil (information), in the form it's given, keep your intestines full of shyt!

[Aida]

My answer is yes and no. I don’t think the listen initially, but I think after they burn their hands a few times, they may begin to come around. I think most youngins don’t realize there is nothing new under the sun. Part of it maybe that they think the innovative and fast paced nature of technology (or newness of it) applies to human nature, interaction and relationships. Yes, I listen to elders, but will add within reason. I will listen politely to people, but if you’re a 20 year plus crackhead, who has never held a job or fully raised your children and are disrespectful in your delivery to me, I am not really going to absorb the “wisdom” you think you are imparting on me.

I do take my position as an elder seriously. My aunt died 11 years ago, leaving her oldest daughter (then 21) to raise her youngest children (then 10 and 9). All along and now moreso that they are teenagers/young adults, I try, along with their sister and other family members, to steer them in the right direction. So far it has not worked and I am to the point where I just let them burn their hands because they do not heed advice and they are disrespectful beyond words. At least the girl, who I advise not to get married at 18 and have a baby to early, but she did anyway, acknowledge that she should have listened because she realized we have her best interest at heart.

[Ms. Smart]

I am not all that big listening too much to people who are my peers in the specific area discussed because birds of a feather often flock together. Also, not only do I listen to my elders for guidance on what to do, but I also look and listen for what not to do.

[HM]

I listen with big open ears to elders and peers bc I, too, have no desire to touch hot stoves. Other people's experience has often been the best teacher for me. I love going to the nursing homes to listen to an even greater selection of elders.

[Ms. Smart]

Actually, I didn't really want to use the word 'advice' but it's out there so whatever. Just because you don't go out, it doesn't mean those who do go out are wrong in what they say about the people you are going to encounter in life. I doubt your mother loved the part of the dude that hurt you. She probably appreciates the KISA in him because she understands that being with a KISA makes life easier for u.

[Ms. Smart]

I respect the experience of everyone. There was an old dude who used to wash windshields. I talked to him when I would be at that light. I respected him, "Stay out the streets and don't even try drugs..." Talks and example.

[sherri]

I am going to borrow this statement today.

[Ms. Smart]

They don't listen cus they don't respect that which has come before them. Also, times haven't changed THAT much. Decent character is still decent character. We've used technology as an excuse to have lesser character. And when people talk about how much different our lives are, are they really better? Is this clusterfug what our elders strived to attain? For the collective--No.

With regards to the crackhead, the first question I have ALWAYS asked a drug addict: How did you first get hooked? That, for me, is the most important thing I can get from a stranger drug addict. Also, I agree with you letting go of the girl. I only help those that want to be helped.

[akima]

Can I have it tomorrow?

[KaNisa]

See that's just it. KISA may be her style, but it's not mine. I don't prefer KISA's at all and wouldn't date one again...while that's what she wants for me...and that's how she judges all the people I date. I honestly want my dude to "sit with me in a field of flowers"...or I guess in KaNisa speak, "at home on the couch half asleep." I found that. I'm happy.

Same with taking the opinions of people who live lifstyles that are unlike mine. I have friends who do go out a lot and date around. They think I should too so not to be as "uptight" and "boring" as I am...or to widen my social circle and help me get over my shyness. Again that isn't and has never been my style...more than being shy, I don't like being around a lot of people, and honestly don't like most of the people I encounter enough to want to spend more time with them.

[Aida]

I totally agree that it's because they don't respect history. The tech angle was my way of trying to explain why they don't respect it, but the truth is I cannot figure out what the actual disconnect is. Any ideas? Life is easier, but certainly not better.

As for the crackhead, they are family members not strangers. I have watched them act time and time again in a manner not befitting an elder, so I have not interest in anything they have to say, but I fake it for the sake of respect.

The boy is worse than the girl. I mean as the first college grad, you'd think he'd want to pick my brains out, but he rather go it alone and not listen and that has gotten him kicked out twice.

[Babs]

I think as I get older I listen to my elders, but when I was younger, like most youngins, I wasn't trying to hear all that.

[Ms. Smart]

As a college grad, your life experiences aren't authentic enough! Now, go have babies, run credit card scams, and be 'Black'! Then he'll listen.

[Ms. Smart]

This is somewhat off topic but you call yourself shy a lot. I've met you. I took it that you were reserved AND that we're a loud bunch so it's kinda hard to get a word in. If you say you're shy, I roll with it but you seem to say it like it's a hinderence or something that makes you unique. (Believe it or not, I'm shy but the things I want require me to wear a social butterfly mask.) If there was something you wanted and an elder told you, "KaNisa, being shy won't get you ___. Only people who ____ or ___ get that." What would you do? Would you expect the world to mold to your shyness?

[KaNisa]

Honestly it's more of a defense mechanism.
My shyness is born from never learning to be around a lot of people and thus feeling extremely uncomfortable. I'm happy with the way my life is now so I have no desire to change that part of me.

At work I tweak it to be simply reserved and my co-workers see me as the succient SME. They love it when I run meetings b/c I'm to the point and out of there. Other than gathering requirements/feedback for my projects via meetings, I don't have to engage people much face to face as we're all about email at my company. I spend most of my time staring at code as a developer.

In social situations, for the most part, I just avoid them entirely.

I suppose I'd say I only engage myself in situations where my shyness isn't a factor.

[SoJo]

I can't find the comment where you wrote "I respect the experience of everyone". I've gotten to a point in my life that I find value in everyone's life lessons - good and bad.

As far as the entry and respecting "old school", I pay attention when they speak. I lOVE talking to Mama SoJo and her Dadas. I was admittedly flip in my youth, but now? I'm a sponge.

Funny that you mentioned Monnie, TravelDiva and 1FPh. I was just telling someone the other day that I've learned so much just from interacting w/ them (1969 and Erica B. too) online over the years and I appreciate that. I may not always agree with everything they say, but I ask questions and know when to sit back, shut up and learn.

Oh, and I also stay away from unhappy people no matter what their age is.

[Ms. Smart]

Whenever there are relationship discussions on any blog, I almost want ppl to be required to state their age--for research purposes cus I swear the 20's (for most) are all about knowing everything after having nothing.

[KaNisa]

This.

[onefromphilly]

I know that I say some crazy stuff on the blogs. And believe it or not I actually try hard to filter out some of the craziest stuff I feel like saying. LOL!
But I know that you all can decifer the real meaning versus the jokes.

I know for SURE that I have gotten this far in life because I've alway kept an open ear to my elders. Even if I didn't heed their advice, the good stuff always sat somewhere in the back of my mind and eventually kept me straight. And the bad stuff and the serious mistakes of my elders made me vowing not to repeat that. You can learn much from the good and the bad.

[Ames]

I prescribe to the "guard your heart" scripture. I cannot listen to or receive the words of people if I don't know they speak life. I believe life and death exist in the tongue. Words seep in and I will either recall positive messages or negative messages. I need life in my life.

The mother of my husband's best friend told my husband to hide money in a secret account. Her experiences (after 30+ years of marriage) may be valid but I can't respect words that speak death just because the speaker has death in a part of their life. He was a newlywed and she was speaking death to the hope an promise of a marriage.

[TravelDiva]

I agree that the younger generation (and my kids in particular) don't always have respect for their elders OR listen to the stories of their experience. I find that a lot of teens & young adults think they are like the Highlander - immortal - and can do whatever they want w/o consequences. Then stand around in shock & awe, writing in to Steve Harvey wondering what had happened and why are they fugged up. I try REAL HARD not to come off with "I done tolt ya so." I also try to filter (like OFP) my crazy response, but well...I'm just that way.

I too know for SURE that I didn't end up this far by dissing GMa Willie or the Queen Mum. GMa Willie may be still lurking in the 40's as a WWII Bride & all that entails but there is wisdom & lessons in her stories. I always wondered how Momz was one step ahead of me...she used to say "Been there, did that, got the t-shirt & battle scars to prove it.", "Every fox smells its own hole." & "Game recognizes game, girl - you ain't doing nothing I haven't already done, please." Ya gotta love her. I could tell the same stories about the elder men in my life.

Watch, Listen, Live & Learn.

[sherri]

???? What is KISA?

[Ms. Smart]

KISA = Knight In Shining Armor (Ted,2009)

[dmcmillian72]

I was hoping someone would ask about "KISA" before I got to the end of the comments. Thanks for the definition! :)

[Heartdrops]

KISA! Ha! I learn something new everyday.