My girl regaled us with a tale of a man, some texts, and him being too much. She ain't shyt for sharing the private messages he sent her. Y'all know how I feel about that--women who do it either don't respect the man or don't like him. Either way, it's bad for business. Dude was coming on crazy strong. He was texting about God and them being together, after three dates and a peck. She felt guilty about blanking him and thought she should 'break-up' with him face to face or at least voice to voice.
I believe this man knew exactly what he was doing. He was trying to come on strong and by doing such, find the thing that would get her to trust him. Screw building a relationship with time. Just say the shyt Essence and movies told him women like to hear. I've told y'all many times, I'm a bluff caller. If a man comes on strong, I pretty much follow his lead. If a man tries to dangle the marriage carrot, I call him on it. He wants to marry me after date three, I'll tell him I'm free Wednesday mornings.
To go back to the whole 'winter' thing yesterday and men using 'winter' (adulthood/marriage/etc.) as a carrot to string women along, I encourage women to call them on it. Trust me, the odds they'll follow through are so slim that you won't ever end up at the JOP with a guy who is a carrot dangler. Most women won't do this because they want to catch the carrot the man is dangling. They don't want to do anything to mess it up.
As Ted eluded to yesterday, most men who are interviewing for wives don't tell the woman that's what they're doing. My dad has said something similar. As a result, the minute I hear it, my guard goes up. Do I lose anything? I don't think so. Would I want a carrot dangler? If it was meant to be, however, my response won't change the tide.
Calling bluffs is the wack ninja pesticide. When you do it, watch the roaches scatter.
The marriage bluff is the grown man equivalent of the college dude's proclamation "I give the best massages ever." College dude and grown dude know by throwing that bait out there, he triples his chances of seeing you naked. Of course, dude ain't gonna marry you and young dude's massages are subpar at best. But by the time most women realize this, they are thinkin' they "shoulda taken that left at Albuquerque" (Bugs Bunny, 1945) while they watch some strange dude search for his draws under your accent pillows.
A man serious about marriage doesn't use the word frivolously. The ones who do use it loosely are trying to sell you on a full scholarship and have nothing to offer but a high-interest loan.
That said, you can't call everybody's bluff, because some of them jokers are SERIOUS. They WILL roll right on down to the JOP. LOL
As for me (you know we were gonna get here cuz I'm a Leo), I have laid all sorts of bluffs out there in my day (never relating to marriage though). However, women that would call me on the bluffs were so rare that when one did, it made turning the bluff into reality a personal natural high.
Posted by: Blame_Ted | 06/30/2011 at 07:16 AM
Ya know, I should have added the Leo caveat. I need to stop writing about this cus it's giving some people I know IRL too much insight about what I'm thinking when they tell me 'stuff'. Maybe I need to go block some more IP addresses.
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 06/30/2011 at 08:49 AM
Well, before you do all that, answer this: What is the boldest bluff you ever called AND dude responded??
Posted by: Blame_Ted | 06/30/2011 at 09:03 AM
Have you met me? Yes? Well then you know I'm not going to be out here on the innanets answering questions like that. *crosses legs at ankles and files nails*
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 06/30/2011 at 09:19 AM
What you were SUPPOSED to do is answer the questions using one of your entangled examples [Sally (S) and Harry (H) are dating but H's cousin's girlfriend Alice (R) and her boyfriend Tom (L) have a dilemma with S and H's relationship with L and his mother, H's aunt Carol (3).]
Sheesh! Fine then, just DM me the bluff. Thanks!!
Posted by: Blame_Ted | 06/30/2011 at 09:42 AM
I wouldn't feed the fire of a dude who was coming on really strong. That joker might take it seriously and then you catch him jumping out of the bushes naked with a plastic bag and some duct tape when you try to back peddle away from him.
Plus you know men have a way of turning everything to their advantage. He stalks-you stalk back-he tells everyone that you are sprung and he had to get away from you!
The last time I called a man's bluff, well maybe I just called him on some BS, was a few years ago. Muscular chocolate bald sweatty brother at the gym was jogging outside of the gym to his car. He stops me to ask some very obtuse question, we tlak for 20 minutes. Then he invites me to come over his house and enjoy lunch and an afternoon in his hot tub. SCREEEEEECH! I say "SURE, but I have just 1 question. Please tell me that that bullshyt does NOT work. Please tell me that you don't strike up a 20 minute conversation with random women, invite them to your house, feed them and the F*CK them. Please tell me it's not that easy?". He walked away without another word, and the next time he saw me in the gym he ignored me big time!!! LMAO
Posted by: Onefromphilly | 06/30/2011 at 10:37 AM
The thing is, the dudes I'm talking about aren't consistent. Lack of consistency is typically a sigh of bullshyt and not crazy. I've played with crazy and lost. He was consistent. I just couldn't keep up. And it did kinda end with him showing up at my house. But...that's also the dude who wouldn't let me break up with him. Epic crazy. I suspect he's either in jail after having caused bodily harm or chains his SO/wife to the fridge when he goes out to work.
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Posted by: Ms. Smart | 06/30/2011 at 10:42 AM
Man would ya look at this Freedom of Information Act using dude! Just cus we've known each other more than half a decade and may have been co-conspirators in foolywaggery, it still doesn't make you entitled to the information. Just know that I call bluffs and occasionally, a dude follows through and memories are made so that stories can be told!
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Posted by: Ms. Smart | 06/30/2011 at 10:54 AM
Oh & I think that when you put SERIOUS you mean crazy or super stupid. Lol
Posted by: WuDaMan | 06/30/2011 at 11:06 AM
Oh, so you really expect us to believe you are an unabashed bluff-caller, yet you ain't worth a nickel when it comes to responding to a dare?!?!
You do know that bluffs ain't nothin' but dares phrased as an offer, right? Right. You ain't no bluff caller!
Besides, dangling carrots only works if your azz is hungry! LOL #DoubleEntendreWIN
Posted by: Blame_Ted | 06/30/2011 at 12:46 PM
I define bluff calling as reminding someone about the promises/offers they made. What you're trying to do is punk me into putting all my business on these innanets. We at Think Pretty Smart thumb our very proportioned noses at your informations request.
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Posted by: Ms. Smart | 06/30/2011 at 01:37 PM
Should I feel insulted that dudes haven't tried this on me?
I know I'm young but...
Posted by: KaNisa | 06/30/2011 at 04:44 PM
U should feel lucky.
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Posted by: Ms. Smart | 06/30/2011 at 04:46 PM