I saw some crazy shyt pop off this weekend. Crazy as an outsider looking in. I was unknowingly an accessory to the whole shyt. But I won't tell you HER story. I'll tell you a story about my own brand of crazy.
*insert wavy lines*
Monday morning rolls around. He lives 45 minutes south of me and my job is 20 minutes north of me. I could go to work and deal with it later--especially considering how serious traffic is around these parts. Sooooooooo, I got up at about 6:30 so that I could be there a little after 7. I rolled in from the back and his car wasn't back there so I went around front. His car was parked out there and I parked, walked on the porch, rang the bell, as opposed to using my key. He came to the door, opened it. I walked past him, went upstairs, went downstairs, left and didn't say shyt.
I didn't necessarily mean to come off crazy and I did intend to speak to him. But I was still so mad, I just did an angry stomp through, got back in my car and was at work about thirty minutes late. A while later, he told me at that moment, he considered and quickly accepted that I might could be crazy. He loved that shyt. In his mind, doing 'crazy' showed him I cared. He put out the word that he'd need to get a moment with my BFF at the time to talk about rings. *sigh* Since I'm not married, it's obvious we didn't get that far though he had been in the streets calling me his ex-fiance.
Back to my girl. She pulled some shyt that would either signal the beginning of the end of their relationship or secure her a place in wifedome. You all have SoJo to thank for putting the deep in perspective. If a man believes being married means the wife is a ball and chain, she proved her wife-ness in what she did. But he doesn't define wife as a crazy inconvenience, what she did meant she was too crazy to link himself with in holy matrimony.
I'm not so sure one incident will seal her fate. But there really does seem to be a correlation between the amount of crazy a woman displays and how he believes she feels about him. Maybe this is the case for some women but not me. While I draw out the crazy is a lot of fellas, I don't find it endearing.
Most men desire a little bit of crazy in their woman because we take it as an active expression that the woman is somewhat vested in the relationship. That said, there are different types of crazy. The "can't leave the house without being in heels and full face" crazy is much different than the "I'll bust the windows out your car" crazy.
As a KISA man, I like a little bit of crazy because it gives validation to the KISA tedency to try and save a woman from herself. But I like my crazy like I like my milk: 2%. Anything more is for the birds and drama ninjas, not for me.
As for the brand of crazy you displayed by walking all through a man's house without speaking, first thing in the morning, and then bouncing without so much as a head nod of acknowledgement?? That's ca-razee and grounds for immediate dismissal. lol
Posted by: Blame_Ted | 07/19/2011 at 07:30 AM
So I'm seeing it like this. Remember the scene in Leathal Weapon what ever and Stupid old Murtough accidentally fires his side arm in the locker room. Then Riggs pretends to be having a temper tantrum when people start to gather. That's the purpose of crazy. To protect the stupid stuff that goes down when men are being that. It's got to be well placed. Like you said it'll be make or break for the relationship. Matching grave stones or notch on the belt. Twin rocking chairs on the porch w/ the grandkids or page in a to be burned black book. Golden anniversaries or someone you leave the city to avoid. Wake up to them for the rest of the two of their natural born lives or blocked on all social media sites.... Lol
Posted by: WuDaMan | 07/19/2011 at 10:08 AM
IMO most men like CRAZY. But like Ted said, most only like between 2%-10%. Every relationship that I've been in the man loves my brand of crazy. The EX could only take about 2%, the love of my college life liked 50%. The more I acted like the Tazmanian Devil the more he like it. That was just too taxing. Even I got tired of constantly going hard to keep his attention.
However most men only like the crazy when it benefits them. I overheard the EX once refer to me as his "Attack Wife", and that if somebody fu**ed with him I would tear them to pieces. I'm not so sure that was a compliment.....
Posted by: Onefromphilly | 07/19/2011 at 10:31 AM
I think this is why I lose. I can count on my one hand how many times I've done 'crazy'. It's just not me because I think logical ppl can have logical convos. And like I said, when I went to dude's house I had shyt to say. I was just so pissed I couldn't say them. He said he woulda just thought I was mad if I yelled at him. He expected that. But the silent walk-thru was weird.
There was also a time we were at dinner and some chick rolled up all familiar like. I kept eating my food and didn't mention it for days. During that time, he was pretty sure I was putting glass in his food. For the record I wasn't. I'd assessed the convo, peeped what chickie thought she was doing, and carefully listened to him desperately point out how long it had been since they saw each other. No need for on-the-spot discussion or crazy. But casually bringing it up days later? He thought that was mark #2 for my crazy card.
The main thing I've had dudes do, in recent years, is show up to my house unannounced, late at night, completely sober. You know I live over God's left shoulder so there is nobody ever just in my neighborhood. Not to mention they have to walk a block and take a helicopter to my door. I've become decensatized to that. If they want to show me crazy, they gotta figure out how to follow me on FourSquare and be one step ahead of me cus I check-in on the way out. Now that I think about it, I'm probably too inconsistent for a stalker or anything like that.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 07/19/2011 at 11:18 AM
I love your list of comparison points.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Posted by: Ms. Smart | 07/19/2011 at 11:19 AM