Nursed Back To Health

I got home from a LONG day today.  I hadn't slept at all for the two nights before.  I was driving through VA damn near falling asleep at each light.  I get home to check my mail and there was the sweetest hand-written note from my girl, my LS, that I've known since college. ,O_o <--Thug tears!

I recently found out I have another inconvenient, not life threatening illness.  It's bullshyt!  So I got to thinking--cus that's what I do.  If I were to get really sick or need to be shuttled back and forth to the doctor could I depend on certain people?  Then I thought about all my friend did for my other friend, his wife, when she got sick.  That's love because a lot of people men, end up cheating on ill wives and just being assholes.

I would encourage everyone to take a moment to ask themselves who would show up if they needed to be taken and retrieved from surgery.  If you're seeing someone and the answer is no, stop seeing that person.  If you continue, you'll get to the point where you won't ask or expect him/her to do anything important because you don't want the stress of disappointment.  On the flip-side, if you're seeing someone and you talk/text and mention you're ill and they are offering assistance, then that's good. 

In other 'avoiding disappointment' news, my friends and I have a lot of activities and events together.  A lot.  We have a good time and I'm willing to put my friends against yours in a fun-off cus I'm sure we'd win--easily.  Anyhow, one big event we do yearly is one where we can bring guests.  One year, I had invited someone I was seeing.  The morning we were supposed to leave, he flaked.  As it turned out, the blogger formerly known as 'O' hadn't started out and he and I ended up riding together. 

Since then, I have taken two SO's to the trip.  Two in like a decade.  Why just two?  If I am seeing someone with flaky tendencies, I don't even give them the opportunity to disappoint me by flaking.  Not to mention, if I believe they will flake, I'm probably in the 'disengagement' portion of the interaction. 

But for all the attempts to avoid the flaky people who can't be depended upon, I have friends who completely rock.  So yeah, I challenge you to a 'friend-off'!!!!  Who wants to accept the challenge?  One of the words my girl used in the card was 'consistent'.  I'm good with that because it's completely true which is why inconsistency burns my toast so much.  That's blatant disrespect.  But that's another blog post. 

What kind of friend are you?

Comments

[Cocohassomethingtosay.wordpress.com]

I completely agree with you about flakers. I will kick a flaker to the curb in a heartbeat. I am a pretty consistent friend most of the time--sometimes I double book by mistake. I am working on that double booking thing.

[Honest]

Dude WTF! What us up with your health? I hope you're ok. We shall talk later. An occasional flakey action gets you the eye but consistent flakiness puts you on the can't be trusted list.

[Ms. Smart]

Yeah I meant to I'm you about what happened because when we were together, M suggested it about you. Dammit if the doctor didn't say...I'll I'm you.

To the point of the post, you hit the nail on the head, it comes down to trust. If a person can't show up consistently, I don't trust that they will in a 'real' time of need.
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[WuDaMan]

See a flaker just isn't your speed or you aren't their speed. Or the cursing altitude hasn't been met yet. Let em go if they can't get right. It's okay if someone can't be your friend. It's okay to be friends.
What's up w/ the D.C. area people being braggarts on their friends. They ride or die on the whim of they friends. I don't get it. You can have some great and awesome times and some not as good but cool enough times. You keep living though.
Speaking of living, "Don't you die on us." Sip this wine drink some water take a walk... Trust me I'm a medic lol. It's probably manageable. Since people wine so hard about the symptoms. So many Rx to take for symptoms alone & w/ side effects no less. Long and short we trust you'll do your diligence to be sure you're okay, thinker.

[Ms. Smart]

OK I'm not as hard as I used to be. I won't immediately kick a flaker to the curb IF they offer something else that over-shadows their propensity for flaking. I will adjust their position and limit how available I am to them. Damn, now that I think about it, even when I do that, I end up removing the person from my life because they don't respect me or my time. It always comes back to that. So maybe, I haven't changed how I deal with them. Instead, I've merely lengthened the time it take to remove the person. *adds two more numbers to my iBlocker on my phone*

[Ms. Smart]

People who flake don't care and are mainly focused on doing exactly what they want to do in the moment. They don't understand that their word is their bond. I sound so old. But one of the things my people are about is following through. We have enough technology that you shouldn't ever stand anyone up or wait until the last minute to cancel.

Now, looking at me, I have flaked before when something major happened. I had a car accident, fell asleep, etc. LOL But those things have occurred few and far between. It's not a consistent pattern of behavior.

DC is competitive. Plus, it's not a city where friends are easy to make. Though I give a side-eye to anyone who is completely incapable of meeting friends after having lived here a year. Anyhow, once you get a pretty decent circle, you rock with them.

My people live long healthy lives. I'm genetically predisposed to live at least until my early to mid-90's.