Village Members

I'm only a member of the village sometimes.  I don't really give two damns about adults.  That might be harsh but I feel like by the time you're 25, you should have an idea whether your life is on the right track.  Once you realize it isn't, you should have the mind to go find someone who looks like they have an idea and develop a list of action items to better yourself.  I found myself having a conversation with an older relative where I probably left her thinking I'm the coldest b*tch this side of the Mason-Dixon line.

Her son is in his mid-20's.  She called me in a huff because I sent him information about a job.  She was in a huff because she felt like I should have been helping out during all of his formative years.  Please note, I sent the job information to every able bodied person under 30 that I knew. 

I understand it takes a village but I never signed up to be a part of her village.  She didn't come to me and ask me if she should have a child by a man whose whole foundation was built on ain't-shyt-ness.  I don't think people quite get this.  They do a lot of stuff expecting people to help them out and rally around and be supportive.  Some folks will.  Some folks won't.  Nobody is really obligated to help--especially if they weren't consulted when you created the situation yourself.  I'm one whose support depends on circumstances.

When the young man was trying to use my address for his car insurance, he called me and asked questions.  So it isn't a far bridge to cross to believe that if he wanted a better life (to finish college, move out of his mother's house, etc.) he would call me for help on that too.  I'll be damned thrice over if I'm going to hunt anyone down to push my help onto them.  That's just not how I operate.

This whole village thing has gone way too far.  People are expecting us to act as a village when everyone isn't doing their part.  Naw.  Nope.  I'm not going to do it.  This woman is going to let me guide her son?  She's going to let me speak to him?  Get the entire fug out of here with all of that.  Don't have a kid expecting me to want to parent said kid.  Don't take a job assuming you can carpool with me.  Don't come to my house hungry assuming I'll feed you.  I might.  But I'm not obligated to do that.  See, obligation bothers me because it seems to always be attached to someone else's expectations about what I'm going to do for them.  Yeah but no.  And for this reason, I don't even hear anything after someone starts a sentence with, "I'm gonna let you..."  Da hell?  You're going to let me help you and yours?  As if I'm in these streets begging to do that? 

How do y'all deal with people trying to force you into their village?