Think Pretty Smart

But...

Have ya'll been watching and listening to Whiskey, Wine & Moonshine?  No?  Well why the heck not?  It's RIGHT HERE!!!

Club Net

Ed. Note:  The following was posted over 6 9-10 years ago but I think the content applies with a bit of adjustment.  This was written before Twitter.  Twitter changed the game.  It made is to that men don't even have to compose a paragraph to get women.  A few tweets, a DM,then bam! 

Before I officially start, this might could get Unabomber long. OK? I'm just putting that out there up front so y'all don't comment that I've been stricken with Panamitis (a propensity for long ass entries). It's gonna take a minute to get to the point.

When I first started blogging it was a couple few years long ass time ago...Maybe two and a half a decade. The first blog was completely anonymous. Or so I am inclined to think. Except that I know someone I know stumbled upon it but I don't think he realized it was me. That blog was crazy personal. In writing it, I found evidence to support my belief that 'Ain't shyt new under the sun'. So many other people were going through the same things I was going through. Quite reassuring. 

All in all, it was a great experience...Being annonymous. As time went on, I saw myself leaning on the blog. Writing there what I should be saying in real life. (Old people, lest we forget the 'F' situation?) I'd also off-handedly mentioned this secret blog to a few people. People like Big Shirley who demanded to read it. I had to satiate those folks somehow. Enter, 'Blog that included my real first name'. It would be humorous and most of all, not ANONYMOUS. Which meant there was no way I was putting anything really personal on there.

After the first few weeks of having two blogs, I got tired. I had realized the anonymous one was a crutch and decided to let it go. But when I did, when I focused just on maintaining 'Blog that included my real first name', I started to wonder things that had never crossed my mind before. I wondered how blogging affects social interactions. Before I blogged, I thought only fat geeks who reenacted Dungeons and Dragons maintained weblogs. So I was either not in the fat part of the normal curve, or I had been wrong. Maybe everyone on the internet wasn't a fat virgin who was 35 living in their mom's basement. But I had to see how this really worked. I mean outside of using it as a journal. Were people really meeting in real life, hooking up, becoming fast friends?? And by 'people', I mean BLACK people. Sorry white folks, I know you guys have been blogging and meeting based on online interactions for a while now.

The first thing I did was put a link to my IM name on the page. And surprisingly, people started IM-ing me. I also made it a point to leave comments. And surprisingly, people started writing me back. Then people who I didn't even know started commenting. This research project was going pretty damned easy thus far. Too bad I didn't have the forethought to apply for a government grant to do this research. Cus y'all know the gov't will pay you to research damn near anything.

Then people started IM-ing me regularly. People I'd never met and never intended to meet. We'd shoot the shyt for hours. It's amazing how much time one can spend chatting with a complete stranger. For me, it was simply that...chatting. However, I'm inclined to believe that a few of the people I'd talk to thought I was really TALKING to them. Sharing with them. But in 'Blog that included my real first name'-land, we were just a few people shooting the shyt to make our work days go by faster. (This doesn't include you--wearing of the spankies with HIS name across them. Or all of the others from the old, Pre-'Blog that included my real first name'.) And I will say, I've had some wonderful conversations with people from all walks of life because of the whole blogging thing.  And, I have every single IM conversation I have ever had.  Even the ones I thought I lost.  Every.  Single.  One.  Of.  Them.  So if you've said/written some foul stuff about someone...Well, I still have the convo.  Trillian--check it out.

The more I talked to folks though, the more I wondered if relationships built online were similar to those built in the real world. There were people who were honest and genuine. But there were also people whose intentions weren't so nice. Except that online, if someone was honest, they were super honest. And if someone was deceitful, they were super deceitful. In both cases, participants' e-courage was a driving force. The courage to speak truths they might not in real life. The courage to do things they might not be afforded the opportunity to do.

In Brown Shuga's Behind the Blog, I asked her how this mode of communication has affected her and her peers. And, right around the same time I read Panama's entry about Black Planet Homes and how y'all (Cus I'm Sexiopian) have managed to turn certain web services in to the e-projects. I know people meet on-line and hook up. There are sites designed just for this. Online dating is a multi-billion dollar industry. Remind me to invest. But you've gotta wonder how this works through blogging. Since, according to the articles written, blogging is supposed to be about self expression...Not hooking up. More research coupled with common sense and I came to some conclusions.

I remember in one of the earlier conversations with BC, I told him that a man's internet game seemed to be as follows:

1. Read a blog.
2. Contact writer--if it's a woman.
3. Chat to access her vibe.
4. Try to get her number. Now see this is interesting because not once has anyone ever come out and asked for my number online. What I have had happen, too many times to count, is a guy start a really good topic of discussion the abruptly say something like, "Dang, I have to go. We can continue this on my way home or I can talk to you tomorrow." Needless to say, all those conversations were picked back up the next day or never.
5. Talk a few times. If she's local, she moves up the priority list. Otherwise, you can always visit. Women like that.
6. Get her to meet you somewhere. This is done to access her f*ckability. Because as it's told to me, "99% of the women who are willing to meet a stranger alone for the first time will get f*cked."
7. If the woman is a 5 or below, treat her like a 10. This way, she will cling to the man because he's treating her the best she's ever been treated. And this treatment fits into her fairy-tale. But if the woman is a 6 or above, treat her like she's a two. This confuses her and she clings to her internet buddy more because she can't see why some internet clown is dogging her.
8. Hit. And hit often.
9. Become unavailable. He all of a sudden has to work. Bullshyt. His ass has blocked you from his IM client.
10. Rinse and repeat. And by 'repeat' I mean move your operation to another circle of bloggers or another blogging service.

And in response to the plan layed out above, the woman does the following:

1. Read blog.
2. Comment and try to do so in a way that makes her stand out from the rest.
3. Chat to see if he's really a nice guy.
4. Exchange numbers. After all, he is a nice guy. (Translation: he fits the fairy-tale she has in her head.)
5. Talk.
6. Go out. Stop right here. The woman thinks this is a date. He will pay but it's not a date, it's an interview.
7. Tell all your friends about a wonderful person you met online.
8. Have sex with him.
9. Be considerate of his schedule.
10. Wonder what the heck happened.

These are the patterns I've noticed. Because those patterns exist, it does not mean the one blogger who met his love because of his blog (wink-wink) is doomed. Nonetheless, the roles men and women play online aren't far from what they'd play were they to meet in a club, the grocery store, or the gym.

The only difference is in background checking. It seems people do a far more thorough background check when they meet someone in person. Maybe Black people are less aggressive with their background checks when meeting people online because the whole internet thing is still sort of taboo in our community. Normally, people ask around to see if a person is married, crazy, etc. But on the internet, not so much. 

In the real world, people lie all the time.  People take advantage of those in need of attention all the time.  But never, before I started blogging, did I think it could be done on the internet.  I thought people would have to have some face-to-face time before they lost all grasp of logic.  Sure, I've heard of dating sites.  Those sites are set up with hooking up as their purpose. 

Some would think that the ability to run game on the internet means you have a Ph.D. in gaming.  I disagree.  If these same men were in a regular situation, where they'd have to be whitty on demand, they would fold.  But on the internet, it's easier to compose a perfect response...Even if it takes ten minutes to write one sentence.   I dare you to take these same men to a gathering and they would wilt.  Let's not even think about ever taking them to the club to run game.  Why, they'd probably start stuttering and shyt their pants.  Now, that would be funny.

And the women, if most of these women were on the street, they may not get the attention they get on the internet.  On the internet, women who might not get attention, get attention, and get played, just like other women do in real life.  So maybe the internet levels things out for them. 

It's not my business to expose anyone or call them out by name.  Besides, they'd only make disparaging remarks about me to the women and those women would accept what the men say as fact.  Women are funny that way.  And by 'funny', I mean stupid or desperate for attention.  What I will say though, is that I'm tired of it.  I almost kinda of feeling sorry for these women and tired of being sickened as the men brag and bask in the glow of their latest internet conquests.  But not really because I just see the game is still the same, just partially electronic.

The Elroy--DC

Once in a while I go to a spot that just feels right. This past weekend, the last stop on our Dish Crawl was The Elroy. It's a spot that doesn't even officially open until July 3 (according to our super burgundy haired cool bartender whose name I cant recall). It's right around the corner from The Argonaut on H Street, NE. The downstairs is a bar and there's a patio out back. The upstairs has another bar (much smaller) and lounging space. Check them out!

Where in the World Is Ms. Smart??

Ladies and Gents, 

Where have I been?  I've been somewhere being too lazy to blog.  And when one is too lazy to blog, there is but one thing to do:  PODCAST!!!  We've done four shows so far.  And we even have a website (Whiskey, Wine, and Moonshine)!  We're on Spreecast, Stictch and iTunes.  That's right!  You can subscribe to us and take us with you on car rides and listen at work (with headphones).  Check us out!

 

 

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And Then There Were Three!!!

That Would Be A Great Blog

Since Google Reader is going away soon, I got an account on OldReader.com. It says that this is a dead feed. I call BULLSHYT! So long as I am paying for this web space weekly. This is not a dead feed.

I've been walking around living a bloggable life but to lazy to type. But today, on top of seeing this listed as a dead feed, I am bored to death.

So let's see what has gone on...I still work at the same place, technically live in the same place, and look the same. I occasionally tweet but not really. Thanks to SoJo, I've gotten into listening to podcast but I haven't recorded one yet. Maybe. Stay tuned.

Too Much

I recently hosted a brunch for my girlfriends.  I'd just gotten a waffle iron, deep fryer, and Keurig (among other kitchen-y things) for a my birthday.  So what other way to break in my new-new and fatten up my friends, than to invite them over for a brunch.  (We'll discuss the logistics of planning brunch later.)

I made WAY too many waffles.  Like, a whole stack so offensive that it would make terrorists' hate for us go from the orange area into a shade of crimson that would warrant a war on our soul.  Can't have that!  Anyhow, once the ladies left, I was left with this huge stack of waffles. What to do?  What to do?

Fling them outside to the disrespectful deer?  Find a homeless shelter?  Save them for myself?

The Way I Do Things

When my friends want to know how to do something home related, they often ask me.  And because I'm nothing if not generous, I thought I'd go ahead and share some of these tips with you.  But first, allow me to address the elephant in the room.  

Are household things women's work?

Cooler, Sexier, Crazier??

Do y’all believe pretty women are crazy? Think about it. I’ve been hearing this for so long. There’s an expectation out there that if a woman is pretty, fine, desirable in any way, it should be automatically assumed she’s crazy. This might even be true. And yeah, I’m saying this as a woman who is easy on the eyes. I speak from a place of knowing. I’m not saying it’s cool to be crazy. But I definately understand how a prettier woman can get trained to be crazy. Taking into account that all women have crazy in them but the assumption is that prettier women have a higher rate of letting crazy ideas move from being quick thoughts to well orchestrated events.

Most attractive women have been that way throughout their lives. As a result, they’ve had access to a greater number of boys/men for a lot longer than their not-as-cute counterparts. And we all know, people do foul things in relationships. Therefore, these pretty women (PW) are more likely to get screwed over. More dates equal more drama. When the PW is young, she doesn’t always know how to react to hurt feelings, being wronged, etc. Too often, she lashes out. The thing is, even if she lashes out, she still gets dates. There’s no penalty for showing her ass. As a result, she doesn’t learn to deal with hurt feelings any other way because she doesn’t have to. Nor is she particularly concerned about being able to keep this one guy or get others.

This is even the case with grown ass men. They let certain women get away with crazy. I recall writing about something and my boy, who I know in real-real life, admitted that a pretty chick can get away with WAY more than an average or ugly chick. Hell, even in court, attractive people get away with way more (see, OJ). Not only this, but if an attractive woman does some crazy shyt, men aren’t shocked because they expect it.

The messed up thing is that women know this. Women know there’s a certain acceptable level of crazy we can safely get away with. And sometimes, crazy is fun. There I said it. Sometimes crazy is pretty damn liberating. Sometimes you just get tired of thinking things through. Sometimes, you gotta have a blade in your mouth. Sometimes, a MF needs to remember that he should be afraid, very afraid.

Truth is, I don’t think attractive women are any more crazy than any other women. What I do believe is that ALL women are capable of crazy. People just notice more on attractive women because, well they are attractive. Just like you’re more llikely to notice an attractive woman when she walks in the room. Does she have a super special swagger? No. But she’s pleasing to the eye and more likely to get attention for doing nothing out of the ordinary.

Schedule

Happy Friday people! I'll be back on Tuesday...Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays! That's all I can handle right now.

And in 2013...

Why oh why do women like to deal with assholes?   I was hoping this wouldn't be a question I'd still have to ask in 2013.  Much like my prediction that Bobby and Whitney would get back together, this new age of enlightenment I predicted for my sisters was off the mark.  Back to the question. Is it because women think they are going to change the man into Mr. Act Right. I buy that. That only accounts for 50% of it. I’ve dealt with my share of asses. (I am overstating the number for emphasis and to make myself seen credible.)  They never started out being that way. It always started out with them being the pursuer. I never felt like I was trying to train them into acting right. However, I got caught up in wondering why, all of a sudden, they just decided to NOT act right. Took me some years to realize the only acting they were doing was when they were ‘acting right’. Their whole sales pitch was the act. The unsatisfactory way they were behaving was them just being themselves. This would account for the remaining 50%.

Side Note:  Can a dog change his bark? Yes, but only if he wants to. Not because some chick is trying to force him. Not because he wants to satify a woman or get a particular woman. Why? Because once he reaches his goal, what’s to stop him from going back to being the man he really is–an ass. If people want to change, they have to do it for self.  However, I don’t think it’s possible to go from playing certain roles to playing others with the same characters on stage. For example, if a man dogs a woman out and then tries to ‘wife’ her, she won’t know how to act. She will think she won and get all cocky. And/or, she will never trust him because she knows exactly what he’s capable of doing. But, if a man wants to go from being an ass to being a stand-up guy, he would be better served to try ‘acting right’ from day one with a new woman.  I don't know why it usually doesn't work out with the original person (victim of foul behavior), but it doesn't.

Back to topic. Women seem to believe they have to fight to get a man to treat them with respect. No. You. Don’t. If you set the standard from day one, and being respectful is even in this man’s vocabulary, he will either respect you or run for the hills. It’s not that hard. Stop buying into the idea that if a man comes at you respectful and honest, he’s a punk. No. The punks are the ones who maintain multiple relationships because they’re too afraid to be alone or their egos are so weak that they need to use woman for ego strokage. The punks are the ones who stand you up because they’re afraid to tell the truth. And you should steer clear of them.

Latest Obsession

I wasn't raised by women who wore make-up.  I didn't discover the stuff until late in life.  And I didn't develop any sincere interest until recently.  Thanks to YouTube, I have learned so many fun things.  I'm still not really willing to wear night time make up during the day and refuse to wear lashed that look like I'm on a reality show.  I'm still way too lazy to wear it daily.  Not to mention, I'm scared of ruining my skin. 

In my YouTube 'travels', I've seen some things y'all.  I have seen women who weren't ugly, but not necessarily 'pretty' in any conventional sense, turn themselves into completely different people.  They could rob a bank, get caught on video, go home and wash their faces, and nary witness would pick them out of a line-up.  It is real in these streets.

They always make themselves look perfectly pretty.  Skin perfect, eyes bright, etc.  If a man were to meet them wearing a full face of make-up, exactly what point do they expose their real face?  This is different that weaves and foundation garments, I think.  With those, the woman usually is recognizable without them.  But make-up?  Yeah, I'm seeing some things y'all.  No, I won't link to them or give out YouTube names.  But seriously, when do they let new people (friends and dates) know what they look like underneath the foundation, concealer, shading, bronzer, and Banana Powder?  After one week?  Two?

Do they expect people, especially men, to be OK with the fact that they don't look ANYTHING like the girl wearing the make-up?  Not long ago, I stumbled on a video a young man did about a particular woman on YouTube.  Initially, I thought it was harsh.  But he had some valid points.  He is attracted to the face made by make-up.  And if what is under that is COMPLETELY different, the woman can't be made at his reaction. 

The young lady was pissed but I don't think she really got what he was saying.  Sure she can wear all that make-up.  But she has to be prepared for the consequences, positive and negative. She's gotten jobs as a make-up artist because she is actually pretty good at what she does.  But she's also gotten a lot of flack because she goes from Tara on True Blood to Beyonce in 10 easy steps!

So I say all that to say, ladies, just because you can go from a 4.8 to a 9.9 with make-up, please don't be pissed when folks react to you very differently when they get a glimpse of the truth.

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Dress You Up In My Love

Michonne

I love The Walking Dead.  When one show goes off, I am ready for the next.  This is probably because I watched seasons one and two in one weekend.  I'm so glad I did.  There are so many great themes in the show. For weeks I've been meaning to write about them but as we all know, I haven't been about the business of writing much lately.  I mean, Mercury was in retrograde...

I have downloaded Zeebox so I watch with Twitter, just Twitter, not Black Twitter.  And everyone pretty much agreed Michone rocks.  And when I said she was probably hella anti-social pre-zombie apocalypse, a few people agreed. 

Yesterday, I watched the last episode again.  Per usual, I was struck by how pretty Michonne is, the calculation in her eyes, and the way people respond to her.  It lead me to the following exchange.

Me:  Rewatching TWD. Would y'all consider Michonne an angry Black woman or a survivalist? My initial thought wasn't race based and I thought of her as a survivor. Seems like everyone watching in Zeebox felt the same way.

Friend: Michonne is exactly how most people view Black women. And truth is most Black women accept the survivalist role.

Me: So you're saying they see Black women as angry or survivalist?

Friend:  Angry. But you don't have to be angry to be a survivalist. Look at Daryl. He is not really angry at the end of the day. And maybe neither is Michonne.  She acts like someone who had been placed into a role that wasn't initially meant for her but she is resigned to do it. So its more resentful than full of rage. Like a lot of Black women.

Me:  Humh.

Friend:  Furthermore, Michonne's behavior at Woodbury mirrors the way society sees us (ABW) and it's unnecessary. Even though her instincts were right on the money you don't have to be an angry bitch to get your point across. Which is why she looked crazy. She could have exposed the governor and saved Andrea while being pleasant and sneaking evidence. Instead, her attitude drew negative attention and alienated her from the group. But that happens to a lot of us. That angry shit only looks empowering on perky white chicks on Lifetime.

That last bit about her being 'pleasant' is spot on.   I was recently talking to my mom about this.  Being unable to 'get along' with people has become one of the proud points of the ABW.  Why is it so hard to just get a long with people and still be cautious and calculating?  That inability to get along isn't anything to be proud of.  It's anti-social and off putting.  Michonne is off putting most of the time.  Feared, but probably rarely liked.  Even with Andrea, Andrea probably calculated that she needed Michonne to survive.  Did she like Michonne?  Nope. She tolerated Michonne while Michonne was meeting her needs.  The minute she found what she thought was better, more comfortable protection, she flung her snatch right at it.

Thoughts?

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Guest Post: Your Blues Ain't Like Mine

Brotherhood, Betrayal & the Buildup: The Walking Dead Episode 307 Review

The Soul Food Spot

Look, I love a good soul food spot like the next person whose wild side includes flirting with diabetes and heart disease. Having been to a few, there's an observation I've made. They are where efficiency and planning go to die and slow, wrenching death.

Mrs. Petraeus

By now everyone has heard about the Petraeus scandal.  We've been exposed to daily revelations, twists, and turns.  We've had people pointing to Mrs. Petraeus as the reason why her husband cheated.  Always blame the woman.  Mrs. Petraeus let herself go.  Well maybe she wasn't cute to start.  She is not to blame.  Dude is a grown ass man.  He was going to put his penis where he wanted no matter who he was married to. 

Wallet Trap

Somoene recently used the term 'trapped' to label a situation where a couplehave decided to have a child.  I don't believe it's a case of the woman trapping the man.  Sure, they were broken up when the child wa conceived.  Sure, she pulled some dramatic attention seeking stunt immediately before the child was concieved.  And yes, she yammered on for years about her person goal of a nuclear traditional family.  Then life happened she and a man had unprotected chex, got pregnant, and stayed pregnant.  But I don't think she trapped him...yet.

Dress You Up In My Love

Last night I was minding my business posting pictures to Instagram.  I didn't mean to post them to the account related to this blog but they are there and oh well.  And y'all should follow me on Instagram because I intend to start posting more (@Think_P_Smart--or something like that).  Anyway, as I was looking at the type of things I wear, I was reminded of a story. 

These Things Are Related

A couple of hours ago, I responded to a couple of ladies via Twitter.  Basically, they were talking about men giving their numbers to women and expecting women to call them.  One said there are women who prefer this.  Which is completely fine because I'm sure all of those women find the mate they want and club them over the head and drag them back to her cave.  However, I have always found this method to be complete fuggery on the man's part when he initiates it.  As stated in less than 140 characters, if a man comes to me, then has the nerve to give me his number, it just doesn't work.  He stepped to me.  I didn't ask him for shyt and he's doing me no favors by giving me his number.

The Bill

Hey y'all!  I am alive and well.  Bored and excited at the same damned time about stuff y'all don't need to know about.  As I was working, I looked up at my TV at one of these judge shoes.  One woman had a sleepover for her daughter.  Eight little girls.  She and her husband went to bed and left the girls alone.  The girls were like eight. 

The girls decide to put in a scary movie.  One of the girls protested and told them that she wasn't allowed to watch scary movies.  She doesn't wake up either of the hosting parents.  They watch the movie.  Once the movie was over, one of the girl's called her mother to come get her.  The child's mom comes and gets her.  The hosting mother never even knew this child was gone.  The child who was picked up?  Her mom sued the hosting mom for the therapy fees. 

I'm blown by this all.  First, who leaves kids and goes to sleep?  Eight girls, eight years old?  I don't trust one seventeen year old kid so I damned sure am not trusting a gaggle of eight year olds.  How does a child leave your house and you not know?  This seems like some Investigation Discovery type shyt where someone gets abducted and nobody in the house knows about it.

For the record, I was allowed to have and attend sleepovers.  But most of the kids I was around had parents who were on the same page and they talked to each other.  They came in homes and sat down for coffee.  They had phone numbers. 

Yet, that still didn't mean she was fully aware of every situation. There was one time in HS where I was close with this girl.  I, and another friend, stayed at her house in ninth grade.  To make a long story short, we ended up not being close for the rest of the year.  However, I was invited to the girl's Sweet Sixteen party.  Right there, in the middle of the dance floor, during the father-daughter dance, her father gave her a full on, open mouth, passionate kiss.  WTF?

I'm not sure when I retold my mother this story, HS or later.  But I remember her asking about the home situation.  She knew this young lady's grandmother had lived in the home with them.  What she didn't know was that her parents lives in the basement while she and her grandmother lived on the top floor.  There was a floor between her and her parents.  This is something people do when they want to put space between a molester and his prey but don't want to send his ass to jail.  I think, had my mother understood the exact living arrangements before I went, I wouldn't have been allowed to go.

In the end, the judge awarded for the defendent saying that it was the other mother's choice to send her child to a sleepover without knowing the parenting style of the hosting parents. The hosting mom told the other mom she hoped this wouldn't impact their daughters friendship.  I bet there won't be any more sleepovers.

Thoughts?

Death and Dying to Cross

When I read about  our greek letter organizations and terms most frequently associated with white greek life are used, I think it skews the perspective.  While we do have fraternities whose members can be outlandish, and other who have certain stereotypes, we aren't the stereotypical white greek organizations.  We are about service.  Sure we have fun.  But behind all that party walking and chilling on the yard was probably late night hours packing boxes of food the night before.  Behind those fun times non-members see, there was probably lots of studying to get and maintain decent and even excellent grades.  I don't think it's fair that we get lumped into the same category as the white fraternities and sororities.  Based on the words that have come from their mouths, adult white members speak in past tense when talking about their membership while we speak in current tense until the day we die and beyond.

Did You Know...

As of October 1, 2012, a person who quits their job due to being victims of domestic violence (verifiable), can now get unemployment in the state of Maryland.  As I read the Senate Bill I was so sad.  Giving victims the opportunity to at least get unemployment if they have to leave their place of employment to save their lives in a step in the right direction.  But let's take a step way way back.

We all know abuse starts way before the first hit.  It starts with the language.  It starts with separating the victims from their support system.  Typically, we think of men doing these things to women.  But if you really think about it, there are a lot of abusive women out here who, if they were physically able would beat their SO's/husband's ass every Wednesday.  I wouldn't be surprised if they are already striking men--especially if they are with men who they don't believe will hit them back.

Some Men Are Job Creators

"My job is supporting my man in all that he does for his self, the ppl around him,and me..I love my job and I love him.. Thank god for him."

~Kaylin Garcia

 If you don't know, Kaylin is Joe Budden's girlfriend.  And if you don't know who Joe Budden is, don't worry.  I didn't either until SoJo Verdad introduced me to him on Twitter.  To make a long story short, Kaylin is a young (literally), lady who attend Joe's pool party.  They hit it off, she started going to visit and they became an item.  He posts lot of pics of them.  But apparently, people wonder what Kaylin does for a living because she's from Florida but now appears to live with Joe in NJ.  (This is more information funneled to me through SoJo Verdad, hood news reporter extraordinaire. 

Guest Post: Your Blues Ain't Like Mine

"Ya'll are gonna stop making the black female experience about shame and burdens and shit. If I didn't know any better and read the stuff written by BLACK WOMEN about being black women...sheesh. Walking around the world with some black woman chip on your shoulder and creating self-fulfilling prophecies."

~@MF_Greatest

Just One More Thing

I have cause to walk past my old front door.  A month or so ago, I saw the dude who moved there returning home.  He was on his phone and he was going off about how he can't wait to get back to PG County so he could be closer to the train.  He's a young guy.  I presumed he was gay until I saw him toting a baby with a woman. I've never spoken to her but she looked like she may have had a girlfriend. 

I'm Tired Y'all!

I don't even know where to start.  I'll just ramble and try to summarize the conversations I've been having and have heard (or read), in the last few days.  If you have kids, please don't tweet pictures of them in underwear.  I would think this would be common sense, but it's not.  If you have kids, you probably shouldn't move a strange man from across town, let alone another state, into your home with your kids.  If yo uhave mentors and they aren't telling you these things, get other mentors.  You won't because you currently have all the support you need to keep putting your kids in danger.

Custody Battles

Some year ago, I had a couple of jobs that just weren't a good fit.  I remember the day I quit one.  I sent in my resignation letter and was told by HR that I wouldn't be allowed back into the building but they would pay me for the following two weeks.  This was company policy.  Though I knew that was how they rolled, I was still happy as shyt when the HR rep called me.  I had a couple friends ask me if my feelings were hurt.  The HR chick even asked if I wanted the pictures (photocopies I printed on the company machine).  Nope and nope!  See, not being allowed in the building wasn't a punishment because I'd already decided I didn't want to be in that building. 

Taking away something a person doesn't want isn't punishment.  Enter observations from Twitter!

It's Nine O'Clock Somewhere

The people who follow me on 4square and/or instagram (a few because my account was locked and now it's open but I barely use it), you saw how I went to dinner super early on Saturday and forced myself to stya out until nine.  What you don't know is how this all started.  I don't know how we got here, but the SO and I are super boring with nothing left to do but move to Florida and watch our grandkids for two weeks in the summers.

Usher's Momma 'Nem

Can we talk about her for a hot minute?  Can we talk about how she sat there stoned face like, "That raggedy heffa had my son's nose open.  And after I chose him and his career over my husband, his narrow ass chose that duplicitous yamp over me?  But I bet his ass came back...Wedding?  Hell naw I wouldn't go to that wedding if I had it to do over again!  I was never going to cosign Tameka's foolishness."

Best Scene

I saw Crash twice in the movie theater and countless times on TV.  A lot of people remember the scene where the Black couple gets stopped by the cops.  I remember it too but the one that really really resonated with me was when Luda was trying to steal Terrence's car.  Terrance turned to Luda and said, "You embarrass me.  You embarrass yourself."  That is the quote that plays over and over in my head when I read some of the stuff women write on the internet.

Best Lawn On The Block

A bad lawn can mess up the whole block.  I used to think bad lawns meant the home was empty.  I always imagined that my husband and I would have the best lawn on the block.  I image that he would either do it himself or have the money and initiative to seek out a proper lawn service to keep everything tight.  Recently, I had the opportunity to observe a bunch of men and how they handled doing 'man shyt'.  And I am convinced that some of them will be the type to drive right up to a messed up lawn, go in the house and not think twice.  No pulling out the mower!  No calling in professionals.  Just drive right up, go in the house, and plop down.

Mrs. Romney

I've been watching Mrs. Romney.  I've been watching what other people say about her.  Here's what I've come up with.  She is just like us.  She believes that if you do good and pray (be a good girl), good things will come to you.  It just so happens that her good thing was being born to the right parents who were able to provide and protect AND Mitt getting her home from that dance then taking care of her and their kids. 

You mad?