I had to think long and hard about what I wanted to write for my first entry. Cus you know, that would set the tone. Or maybe it won't. Who knows. Admittedly, I took the lazy route and just finished something I'd started on another site.
I'm not a big gambler. Once when my friends were all back home together, we went over to Canada to the casino. We probably spent a total of $30 and that was enough for us. It just wasn't that exciting. I've been to Vegas a few times but only once with friends. The other times were always for work. I didn't gamble those times either.
If I ever did decided to gamble, I'd play cards and I'd count the hell out of them!! Casinos would have you believe that counting cards is illegal. It's not. Counting cards is smart. If you're going to play a game, isn't it best to try to win?? Simple logic. Right?
So then, why when dating, people talk about not playing games? Somewhere along the transition from old-school courting to this new hook-up based relationship system, someone was losing the courting game. As a result, that someone, or those people, decided to campaign against the basic rules of courting.
Dare I say the leaders of the 'no gaming' campaign were men. See, men know that if women were to remove the emotion from dating and play it as if it were a game, forcing men to court, women would always win. So what did men do?? They've convinced women that gaming and looking out for their best interest is somehow wrong. Meanwhile, women have also adopted this 'I don't play games' mantra as a weak attempt to appear evolved. But gaming is really nothing more than paying attention. It's nothing more that watching the cards as they are dealt and playing your hand accordingly.
When I hear a man say he doesn't play games, my immediate thought is that his game is one of passive disarming. Remember the biggest trick the devil ever pulled was to get people to think he doesn't exist. Same thing with dating. It doesn't make sense to not have a strategy in dating. It doesn't make sense to not adjust said strategy as needed. In every other area of life, people have plans upon plans upon plans, backed up by several contingency plans. So why not do this in relationships?
Take the following exchange that I've heard several times from several people who have been knowing each other 17.3 seconds.
Man: Yadda yadda yadda.
Woman: I don't have chex until month three.
Man: I hate when women play those games. Why can't you just see how things flow?
Now, lemme tell you what the exchange really meant.
Man: What's the one thing I can say to move this along? There's a game on! I wonder how long I have to pretend to be interested in what she's saying.
Woman: I'd like to have chex with him but I don't wanna appear to be a dumb whore, again. So lemme convince myself not to do it by saying out loud that I'm not going to do it.
Man: No! You can't have the expectation that I will stick around listening to your stupid stories for three months. In that time, I might mess around and actually like you, as a person. Get rid of those rules that don't get me to where I want to be as quickly as possible.
This whole exchange is stupid for various reasons. First, why do women announce their intentions in any form? Would you walk into a casino, sit down, then announce to the dealer that you're about to count the hell out of the cards? Second, no man needs to actually hear that a woman has a chex waiting period to know whether or not she has one. Third, why the hell are they even talking about chex when they don't know anything about each other??
Everything in life is a game. Work. School. Family. So why when it comes to dating, people women are supposed to just be easy-breezy? Doesn't make much since to me.
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